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The Most Important Lesson I Will Teach My Son
The Most Important Lesson I Will Teach My Son
My beautiful wife is 32 weeks pregnant with our first child. I’m writing a book about all the things I want him to know on the quest to find and stay on his path.
At the top of this list is:
To the degree that you increase voluntary struggle, you will decrease involuntary suffering
What more could a father want for his son than for him to voluntarily engage in difficult things on behalf of the Good?
Struggle vs. Suffering
Struggle is the necessary resistance that we experience in the creation of anything worthwhile. Struggle is the fight against the great undefeated opponent - Entropy. Struggle is the build.
Building your marriage.
Building your health.
Building your business.
Building your skills.
Building a life.
Struggle is the bedfellow of anything worthwhile.
Suffering is different. While Struggle is mandatory, suffering is optional. The Buddha did not say life is suffering. He said life is dissatisfaction.
And on a long enough timeline, there’s nothing more dissatisfying than delaying the difficult.
Struggle is what we voluntarily engage with. The cross we bear that we chose to pick up, and through our volition make lighter. Suffering is involuntary. The things we don’t want that are forced upon us, which by nature, are the heaviest.
The physical pain from a life of inactivity.
The emotional pain of the shot not taken.
The financial pain of a life lived without discipline.
The spiritual pain of missing the mark.
Struggle is a necessary friend on the path. Suffering is what arises when we refuse to walk it.
Difficulty – Now or Later?
“What is deferred is not avoided.”- Thomas More
This price will be paid now or in the future, and like the bank, life will fine late payments.
The 5K we won’t run today becomes a trip to the hospital tomorrow. The difficult conversations we avoid with our spouse become future correspondence with our divorce lawyer. The boring work that we won’t do becomes the future headache we can’t avoid.
We do not get to avoid difficult things. We only choose when we will engage with them. The people we admire choose the present. All our heroes lean into the challenge.
This does not protect us from hardship. This will not shield us from pain. But this will give us the freedom to confront life in the most productive way.
Struggle now or suffer later.
I wish my son (and you) a life of struggle.
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Want me as your coach?
How to Get Started
World-Class Performance Coaching for small business owners and community leaders
STEP 1
Schedule your Discovery Call
Click “Apply For Coaching” below to choose the date and time for your introductory call.
STEP 2
Fill out New Client Form
We get to know you and your goals better.
STEP 3
Work With Chris
When our discovery team feels that you are a good fit for the program, you will begin working 1-on-1 with Chris to achieve your goals!
Founder Story
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Chris Matakas' Story
Chris Matakas is 2nd-degree BJJ blackbelt under Ricardo Almeida, founded the Matakas Jiu Jitsu Academy in 2017, and has published several best selling books about using Jiu Jitsu as a vehicle for personal development.
Due to an influx of readers reaching out for guidance during the global pandemic of 2020, Chris founded Matakas Coaching to help high achievers fulfill their potential off the mat, as well.
Chris is a Performance Coach to business owners, community leaders, and high net worth individuals. He loves the process of transformation and enjoys guiding sincere individuals to the achievement their goals.
He is a 15x author of books about personal transformation. He believes that the more we grow, the more we have to give, and that it is our moral responsibility to fulfill our potential so that we may contribute to those we serve.
More Kind Words
Matakas BJJ has been an amazing experience for my daughter. I can't say enough about this family-oriented academy and their dedicated coaches. If want your child to learn to defend themselves, go see for yourself and sit in on a class.
Jennifer
Mother of 8 year old in our Youth Program
Jane Doe
Chris is among the most knowledgeable and disciplined students that I’ve had the privilege to teach. His lessons and writings about the moral, mental, and spiritual aspect of training are nothing short of inspiring.
Ricardo Almeida
BJJ School Owner
Jane Doe
Here's What Our Clients Say About Their Results With Matakas Coaching
"Because of Chris, I now have so much clarity of purpose and a better understanding of my own internal drive."
Zach Thomas
Owner/Operator: Chic-Fil-A
"..His outlook on life and especially BJJ can benefit people of all walks of life."
Frankie Edgar
Former UFC Champion
"Chris was my saving ferryman who guided me across a sea of desperation to a beautiful path towards the light. He is a beautiful soul. Because of Chris I went from being completely lost to being highly confident that I could handle the difficult problem that was presented to me.
Bill C
Appellate Services
"Working with Chris has given me more clarity in my mission in life."
Tommy W
Small Business Owner
"Because of Chris, I now have so much clarity of purpose and a better understanding of my own internal drive."
Zach Thomas
Owner/Operator: Chic-Fil-A
"Chris was my saving ferryman who guided me across a sea of desperation to a beautiful path towards the light. He is a beautiful soul. Because of Chris I went from being completely lost to being highly confident that I could handle the difficult problem that was presented to me.
Bill C
Appellate Services
FAQ
These are the common questions we get from prospective students about our program
How do I know if a Performance Coach is right for me?
The most successful people – in all areas of life – have a coach. We need a mentor, a guide, someone who has been there before and can save us the pain of failing and wandering without progress toward a goal.
If you are sincere in your growth and have the resources for this type of relationship, this will accelerate your progress and improve the quality of your life. Guaranteed.
What does the coaching relationship entail?
Should you be selected for the program, you will begin with an introductory assessment in which Chris will take you through his “Big Four Assessment” to get a clear picture of your current status and what you would like to achieve.
After onboarding, Chris will give you your personal transformation roadmap and provide weekly support as you run the process and achieve your goal. You will connect with Chris for weekly zoom calls as well as having unlimited communication on a private channel.
How do I know it’s worth the investment?
We use a simple equation for this. Decide the value of achieving your goal. Put a financial number to it. “If I achieve “x” in the next 12 weeks, that would be worthy “y”.
If your goal is worth more than the investment for coaching, then it’s safe to say the investment is worth it!
What if I have more than one goal I want to achieve?
Great! Chris uses his “Big Four” methodology to assess the primary areas of your life and align on your needs/desires in what matters most.
Most clients have 1 or more areas of their lives they would like to improve. Together, you and Chris will create your transformation roadmap to achieve all these goals simultaneously.
What if I want to work with Chris beyond the 12-week agreement?
Most clients choose to continue working with Chris beyond their original agreement. Chris limits first-time clients to the initial 12-week program to ensure that we have a right fit before making a longer term coach-client relationship.
For those who are coachable and committed to progress, Chris happily continues the coaching relationship.
How do I know the program will work?
Between coaching, the books, and speaking, Chris has served thousands and thousands of people committed to personal development. Through years of experience, he has refined his coaching methodology to the essentials that create immediate results.
Chris’s Performance Coaching is highly effective in accelerating personal transformation.
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