Call or Text:
(609) 952-6200

Freedom From Frustration In Jiu Jitsu

Freedom From Frustration In Jiu Jitsu

January 19, 20244 min read

“The greatest failure is failing to fail.”

 

We’ve had a great block of training with the advanced group at Matakas Jiu Jitsu. We’re emphasizing the tenants of Deserted Island Jiu Jitsu and changing the magnification of our aims.

We are focusing on the mini-games within the major areas of grappling, with an emphasis on the accrual of time spent on our weaknesses. The team is doing well. From a technical perspective, we are improving at a faster rate than I’ve ever seen.

To maintain this growth, last night we addressed the killer of sustainability: frustration.

 

What is Frustration?

Frustration is the negative emotional experience that arises when we perceive we have failed to advance toward our goal. Often, the degree of frustration is proportional to the damage our ego has sustained.

We could address this frustration. But this would be like scooping water out of the ship’s hull rather than plugging the leak. We must go further up the chain of events.

 

The Goal of Training

The goal of training is to grow, to become a better martial artist for having trained. This growth requires friction. The training is successful when we experience the friction that our growth occurs.

That’s it.

A common mistake is to assume that “success” in a roll is a proxy for progress. We do this at our peril.

If you whooped all your training partners and looked like the most recent embodiment of Gordon Ryan, with each roll being an effortless execution of your talents, you did not grow. You chose a path of insufficient resistance.

If your goal is to fulfill your potential, you want to experience as much resistance as you can tolerate, as much friction as you can positively digest and convert into wisdom.

Therefore, training at every skill level requires a degree of difficulty and challenge.


Rats and Jiu Jitsu

Rats love to play. They, like us, like to wrestle. But they don’t know Jiu Jitsu, so the winner of the match is almost always the bigger rat.

But the big rat is wise. He wants to keep the game going. As they say in Rounders:

“You can sheer a sheep many times, but skin him only once.”

The big rats let the small rats win 30% of the time, otherwise, the little rat will get discouraged and no longer participate in the game. How does this apply to you?

You have the need to win and feel esteem in Jiu Jitsu, and you have the need to experience the friction your growth requires. If you are “winning” 100% of the time, then your future potential suffers the loss.
If you are “losing” 100% of the time, you may not return to play the game.

The key is to experience the maximum amount of friction that you can tolerate long term. Perhaps the rats are on to something with this 30% success rate.

 

Navigating the Emotions of Failure

I could go on some long breakdown of the emotions, what they mean, and how we can navigate them. If you struggle with these emotions, I would like to direct you to Jiu Jitsu and the Ego. It’s the best book we have on the subject. I’m biased, but I think it’s true.

In the context of this conversation, we must go further upstream.

Your frustration is not the problem. The issue at hand is your definition of success which causes the frustration in the first place.

It’s a clarity problem. Not an emotions problem.

Redefining Success

Success is friction experienced and growth attained. Success is becoming a better grappler than you were when you woke up that morning. Success is progress. Everything else is idleness.

We must redefine success and failure.

Failure: experiencing an absence of friction-inducing growth, often the result of clinging to cherished techniques to “win” today.

Success: the conversion of experience into wisdom, the positive engagement with resistance that elicits an adaptation to become a more informed and complete grappler.

Freedom from frustration is experienced when the student properly engages in exploration, in search of information, with an absence of concern for one’s appearance in the process. When the “failures” which used to cause frustration are now seen for the successes that they have always been, these are no longer mistakes. They are treasured experiences sought after, hunted down, and assimilated.

These are not shortcomings of the individual, but rather, the necessary experiences on the path to development.

 

Conclusion

The Purposeful seek resistance and craft a home within the difficult. They use all experience as fodder for their continued development. The Purposeful define success as friction positively encountered.

Success is the accrual of wisdom. Frustration, then, can only arise in the absence of friction.

The fates have been kind to us. Jiu Jitsu is infinite. We are limited. Therefore, we will never experience an absence of friction. This means, then, that we will never again experience frustration.

It’s all grist for the mill of our becoming.

And maybe, just maybe, Jiu Jitsu becomes what it has always been:

Play.


blog author image

Chris Matakas

Chris Matakas is a Performance Coach, 15x author, BJJ Blackbelt, and is the Founder of Matakas Jiu Jitsu and Matakas Coaching

Back to Blog

Solution/Positioning Statement Goes Here

Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur excepteur sint occaecat.

Avatar 1

Lorem ipsum dolor amet consec tetur adipiscing elit eiusmod tempor incididunt labore dolore magna alirua enim.

Avatar 2

Lorem ipsum dolor amet consec tetur adipiscing elit eiusmod tempor incididunt labore dolore magna alirua enim.

Avatar 3

Lorem ipsum dolor amet consec tetur adipiscing elit eiusmod tempor incididunt labore dolore magna alirua enim.

Give Your Plan A Name

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod

STEP 1

Step 1 goes here

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consect adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore

STEP 2

Step 2 goes here

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consect adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore

STEP 3

Step 3 goes here

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consect adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore

Want me as your coach?
How to Get Started

World-Class Performance Coaching for small business owners and community leaders

STEP 1

Schedule your Discovery Call

  • Click “Apply For Coaching” below to choose the date and time for your introductory call.

STEP 2

Fill out New Client Form

  • We get to know you and your goals better.

STEP 3

Work With Chris

  • When our discovery team feels that you are a good fit for the program, you will begin working 1-on-1 with Chris to achieve your goals!

Founder Story

Your Paragraph text goes Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. Autem dolore, alias, numquam enim ab voluptate id quam harum ducimus cupiditate similique quisquam et deserunt, recusandae. here

Chris Matakas' Story

Chris Matakas is 2nd-degree BJJ blackbelt under Ricardo Almeida, founded the Matakas Jiu Jitsu Academy in 2017, and has published several best selling books about using Jiu Jitsu as a vehicle for personal development.

Due to an influx of readers reaching out for guidance during the global pandemic of 2020, Chris founded Matakas Coaching to help high achievers fulfill their potential off the mat, as well.

Chris is a Performance Coach to business owners, community leaders, and high net worth individuals. He loves the process of transformation and enjoys guiding sincere individuals to the achievement their goals.

He is a 15x author of books about personal transformation. He believes that the more we grow, the more we have to give, and that it is our moral responsibility to fulfill our potential so that we may contribute to those we serve.

More Kind Words

Matakas BJJ has been an amazing experience for my daughter. I can't say enough about this family-oriented academy and their dedicated coaches. If want your child to learn to defend themselves, go see for yourself and sit in on a class.

Image

Jennifer

Mother of 8 year old in our Youth Program

Jane Doe

Chris is among the most knowledgeable and disciplined students that I’ve had the privilege to teach. His lessons and writings about the moral, mental, and spiritual aspect of training are nothing short of inspiring.

Image

Ricardo Almeida

BJJ School Owner

Jane Doe

Here's What Our Clients Say About Their Results With Matakas Coaching

"Because of Chris, I now have so much clarity of purpose and a better understanding of my own internal drive."

Image

Zach Thomas

Owner/Operator: Chic-Fil-A

"..His outlook on life and especially BJJ can benefit people of all walks of life."

Image

Frankie Edgar

Former UFC Champion

"Chris was my saving ferryman who guided me across a sea of desperation to a beautiful path towards the light. He is a beautiful soul. Because of Chris I went from being completely lost to being highly confident that I could handle the difficult problem that was presented to me.

Image

Bill C

Appellate Services

"Working with Chris has given me more clarity in my mission in life."

Image

Tommy W

Small Business Owner

"Because of Chris, I now have so much clarity of purpose and a better understanding of my own internal drive."

Image

Zach Thomas

Owner/Operator: Chic-Fil-A

"Chris was my saving ferryman who guided me across a sea of desperation to a beautiful path towards the light. He is a beautiful soul. Because of Chris I went from being completely lost to being highly confident that I could handle the difficult problem that was presented to me.

Image

Bill C

Appellate Services

Get Started Now

26,000+ Readers

FAQ

These are the common questions we get from prospective students about our program

How do I know if a Performance Coach is right for me?

The most successful people – in all areas of life – have a coach. We need a mentor, a guide, someone who has been there before and can save us the pain of failing and wandering without progress toward a goal.

If you are sincere in your growth and have the resources for this type of relationship, this will accelerate your progress and improve the quality of your life. Guaranteed.

What does the coaching relationship entail?

Should you be selected for the program, you will begin with an introductory assessment in which Chris will take you through his “Big Four Assessment” to get a clear picture of your current status and what you would like to achieve.

After onboarding, Chris will give you your personal transformation roadmap and provide weekly support as you run the process and achieve your goal. You will connect with Chris for weekly zoom calls as well as having unlimited communication on a private channel.

How do I know it’s worth the investment?

We use a simple equation for this. Decide the value of achieving your goal. Put a financial number to it. “If I achieve “x” in the next 12 weeks, that would be worthy “y”.

If your goal is worth more than the investment for coaching, then it’s safe to say the investment is worth it!

What if I have more than one goal I want to achieve?

Great! Chris uses his “Big Four” methodology to assess the primary areas of your life and align on your needs/desires in what matters most.

Most clients have 1 or more areas of their lives they would like to improve. Together, you and Chris will create your transformation roadmap to achieve all these goals simultaneously.

What if I want to work with Chris beyond the 12-week agreement?

Most clients choose to continue working with Chris beyond their original agreement. Chris limits first-time clients to the initial 12-week program to ensure that we have a right fit before making a longer term coach-client relationship.

For those who are coachable and committed to progress, Chris happily continues the coaching relationship.

How do I know the program will work?

Between coaching, the books, and speaking, Chris has served thousands and thousands of people committed to personal development. Through years of experience, he has refined his coaching methodology to the essentials that create immediate results.

Chris’s Performance Coaching is highly effective in accelerating personal transformation.

Schedule a Call Now


Your Solution To Your Personal Transformation Needs

Proudly Serving High Achievers That Make The World A Better Place

​FOR WISDOM AND UPDATES

Contact Us

Email
chat@matakasbjj.com

Address

2043 US 130, Florence, NJ 08016

Phone Number:

609-952-6200

Social Media Links

Instagram1 Column

Linkedin

TikTok

Copyright 2024. All rights reserved